42. Mischief and Mishaps in the Middle Kingdom. By Paula Zhou
First date I entered China
August 30th, 1998.
The date stamped on the passport I used to first enter China.
My intention was to spend a year in a foreign land. See the world a little. Get to know myself before taking the next step into adulthood. That was twenty-four years ago, and I’m still playfully treading that imaginary line today!
When I set out for China, 24 years ago, I never expected to fall as deeply in love with this land and its people as I did. Seeped in thousands of years of mystical history, culture, philosophy, and tradition that, to this day, still nudges me toward exploring, searching, and losing myself in a glorious fusion of self-discovery!
Throughout these years, I (legally, if not emotionally) became an adult. I married my wonderful, Henan-ese husband (we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary a few months ago), I gave birth to two incredible children, Eiriana, 17 and Liam, 11. I’ve lived in 4 cities: Nanjing; Guangzhou, Beijing, and beautiful Xiamen. I’ve explored the many corners of this wonderful land and met many beautiful people along the way. In my formative years in China, I backpacked around the country on the most minimalist of budgets. With no Chinese and no cellphone (or any other device to help with translation), I quickly learnt how to communicate my needs! Travelling across the country on 48 hour 绿皮 sleeper trains, sharing Yangtze river boat cabins for four with 16 other people, all eager to get home for the Spring Festival, staying in 10RMB-a-night hostels and hitch-hiking from DaZhu to Chengdu after missing the last bus of the day—I smile fondly at the memories made in those early years and how they have contributed to making me the person I am today!
Paula (left) with her daughter, Eiriana, (back middle), son, Liam (front middle) and husband, 周哥 (right).
One memory that has stayed with me is that of a trip I made to an adult learner’s home on the January 1st, New Year, holiday of 1999. At the time I was working at a university in Nanjing, supporting PhD students with their English comprehension and dissertation publications. All of my students were older than me and most of them were married with families. One student invited me to visit his hometown in Anhui province. We took a 6-hour bus-ride from Nanjing to our destination town (the name of which I do not recall). From there, another hour was spent on the back of a tractor that bumped through the countryside until we reached the village home. We arrived dusty and tired, and my student asked if I would like to take a bath to freshen up.
Welcoming the year of the Tiger with plenty of tea and great friends!
In my, still-quite-new-to-the-country mind, a bath to freshen up before dinner sounded perfect. And a moment later, I found myself being led by the grandmother of the house to another building in the courtyard. We entered the building, passing the cows, and there, in the corner of this room sat a large ‘bath’ made of bricks, with a fire burning underneath. The grandma led me to the ‘bath’ and said something in Chinese. In my China newness, I had no idea what she said, but from her gestures, I assumed that I was to get into the bath. Now, you have to understand the life that I had lived up to this moment! In the UK, it’s not common to take our clothes off or bathe in front of others—even with members of the same sex. So, I sheepishly removed my shoes and socks, pulled up my trouser legs and thought, ‘OK, I’ll just wash my feet!’ I dipped my toes in, but immediately recoiled! WOW!!!!!! That water was HOT!!!!
In my minimal Chinese I gasped that the water was 《热》 – hot. To which grandma replied 《烫》. Also hot, but referring to the temperature of liquid.
One of Paula’s favourite spots to sit and meditate at Yuan Bo Yuan – Xiamen’s Horticultural Garden.
And here is where my mind started to spiral. You see, the only ‘tang’ I knew up to that point was the kind that you drink with your meal 《汤》—soup. You know where this is going don’t you?
I was being cooked!
Grandma was a witch, and I was to be made into a big pot of soup! (Trauma from “Hansel and Gretel” much?)
So, I resisted, I started to put my shoes and socks back on. This Welsh girl was not being made into soup! No Sir-ee! Not today!
Grandma started to get louder, she seemed to be getting a little frustrated. I was resisting her evil plan.
But then, something strange…. She started to undress herself, get into the water and wash. A wash that looked more like a demonstration, a kind of: “like this, stupid white woman, you wash yourself like this”. And then she ‘helped’ me undress, guided me into the ‘soupy-bath’ and gave me a wash too!
Feeling a little silly, but also grateful that I was not on the menu for today, I enjoyed the rest of my stay and made sure I added 《烫》to my list of must know words!
And there started (or continued) my quest to understand the misunderstandings between us wonderfully crazy, perfectly imperfect humans!
My lovely daughter and I
Intro:
Originally from the Welsh valleys in the UK, Paula has been living and working in the middle kingdom for the past 24 years. Spending most of her time working with children, their families and the teachers who care for them, Paula is a Montessori teacher, teacher trainer and parenting coach. Paula currently lives in Xiamen, China with her husband and 2 children. Her free days are filled with long walks in Xiamen’s beautiful horticultural park, reading, playing Guqin and giggling with her family! She is the founder of Insight, a wellness platform and studio dedicated to supporting the healthy growth and mental well-being of individuals, families, and children everywhere, and the founder of the soon to be released wellbeing APP – THRIVE (www.thrive.uno).
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